Sunday, March 1, 2015

La mancanza

People often ask if I miss Italy. 

My response is always: everyday. 

Sometimes I question my choice to return home, actually, it's more than sometimes. It's a constant thought that started to arise about 2 months after is been home. During those two months I must have been tricked, I wasn't long enough away from Italy to realize yet that my choice was permanent (or semi-permanent), and so the two month threshold hit me hard and the longing for Italy doesn't really go away. But for right now, I think that is okay. I came home for all the right reasons, I'd loved Italy and I still do but I'd reached my goal of learning Italian (still not perfectly, but hey, I still can speak English perfectly so let's be realistic), during my two years away my heart ached for my friends and family back home and let's face it, success is not easy to come by in Italy (success in the American definition), so coming home seemed to be the right choice. Some people think it's worth traveling, exploring and scaring yourself in your you get ears, and I agree completely, I did that from 22-24, but it's also an exciting age to be building your career and I think balance is important. 

I miss Italy everyday. Now that I am home I miss my Italian friends. I am living with my parents so I miss my European freedom, living alone, traveling on the weekends, making my own decisions, grocery shopping and deciding what to cook for dinner. Some of these I'll be able to translate to y life in Boston once I have my own apartment and I am really looking forward to that, but I know that Italy and my affair with it will always remain deeply ingrained in my heart. For the little things; a caldissimo cappuccino, apertivo, walking just to walk and talk, chatting with friends over espresso, hearing the most beautiful language in the world, observing the nonnas and the nonnos, having the worst post office experience ever and laughing about it after almost crying, and just being plain blessed to see the ancient beauty taly has to offer at it's every corner. The list could go on...

But my point is, I am young. I had my first real affair with Italy at 22 and it won't be my last. I have time to establish a career and then to decide, hey! Italy is calling me! Let's move back! My cousin Melissa is a perfect example of this. So I know that is always an option and I look forward to that day. 

I miss Italy every day in the smallest ways possible that only someone like me will know the feeling and know that it's so hard to put in to words. I'm grateful for what it has given me and I look forward to going back!

With all that said... I am so far behind on blog posts. I left off last march and so much has happened since then, including some of my best days in Bologna, so hang in there because I hope to share some of my last 6 months abroad with you as I find the time to do so!

No comments:

Post a Comment